i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
