I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
