what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
