also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
