I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
