shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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