I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
