Where is the hickey?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
