he puts the penis in happiness.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
