He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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