so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
