You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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