Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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