WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
