So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
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Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
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