I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
