is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
