I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
