It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
