Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I need a burrito and a hug.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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