yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize