he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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