my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
