So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
