We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
then he tried to convert me to islam
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
