She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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