My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
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I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
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i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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