I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
