just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
