Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
