Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
