He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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