My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
