Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
