remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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