Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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