I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize