he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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