I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
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Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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