let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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