Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so that wasnt chicken after all
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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