Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
