WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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