I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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