Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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