I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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