she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize