ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
