just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize