I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
my poor anus
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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