She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
