you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
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It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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