I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
