just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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