if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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