I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize