i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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