also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
