i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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