How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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