I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
