Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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