I think i peed on brittanys purse
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
