I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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